Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Mencari

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Sejak beberapa bulan yang lepas, aku bertungkus-lumus mencari wang. Berusaha dengan cara itu, cara ini, jalan itu, jalan ini. Dari itu aku sedar betapa duit itu tidak jatuh dari langit. Dengan itu aku rasakan sendiri betapa susahnya mencari duit. Betapa susahnya menghadapi makhluk bernama manusia dan satu sen itu perlu dikira.

Nabi kata, punca rezeki yang paling luas ialah berniaga. Aku yakin itu memang betul. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, ada tak sesiapa pernah katakan punca kelalaian yang paling nombor 1 juga adalah berniaga? Gila duit, gila harta. Obsesi memikirkan duit masuk, macam mana nak cari duit, macam mana nak kembangkan perniagaan, hatta dalam sembahyang. Betapa pencarian duit begitu menghanyutkan hingga membawa hati jauh dari Tuhan, jauh dari Quran, jauh dari langit.

Dan akhirnya setelah penat mencari dan mencari, akhirnya kau rasa lelah dan bila kau toleh ke belakang, kau akan sedar, it means nothing.

Nothing.

Jadi kepada manusia-manusia yang sibuk bercakap tentang wang, tentang duit, tentang idea bisnes kau yang bernas, tentang saham, untung rugi, satu saja yang boleh aku katakan.

Aku kesian sama kau.

Chow.
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Friday, December 24, 2010

Coming Back To You

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Soothing breeze gently caressed my face through the window, while the sun rays penetrated onto my reddish skin. Haha intro macam haprak. I am sitting in my unofficial room - a room where I always sleep when I stayed at my sis's house. It feels a bit cold but I like it very much.

It is always like this; once I wrote an entry, I will continue writing another entry in a short interval, and once I don't feel like writing, I will abandon my blog for a looong time. Not just leaving it silence without words; I don't even view it or check to see if there's any comment or whatnot. In fact, I don't really care if this blog got any reader; as I always believe that a blog is a medium to express my thought, not to flaunt myself to the world. That alone explains why I never really promote my blog, or give it a frequent admin touch-ups. Sorry, blog. I know you know me well.

I'm going back to Perlis to pack up my stuff. My home. My home is in Perlis. But since I got the job in KLCC, alhamdulillah, I have to move out. And so I have to pack all my belongings and move to, perhaps, Ampang, or if it doesn't work, Putrajaya.

I've always love Perlis. I mean, yeah, it is the smallest state in the country. Some of my friends even haven't set their foot in Perlis yet. Yes it doesn't have Midvel, 1Utama, Pavillion. Yes it doesn't have any cinema. But still, Perlis is my home. And no other place feels like it.

Perlis is my home.

Not Ampang. Not Putrajaya.

And now that I kinda have to move out, like, permanently, it strikes me that I might not be coming back to Perlis again, after this.

There's a silence in my heart.

And now I feel like sitting in a coffee shop, rain drops wetting the sidewalk, and me starring out of the window, purposeless.

God, please let things run smoothly. I don't want to worry about something in the future, as it might not happen the way I think it will be. It might be not too bad. Maybe I think too much. Maybe it will be completely different. Who knows what will happened?

God knows.

God only gives the best to His servant.

I trust You.
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